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(the)-influence)-influence的形容词形式

雅思,被覆,我是(the)-influence)-influence的形容词形式

发布时间：2016-12-08加入收藏来源：互联网点击：

the influence（influence的形容词形式）

家好，我是来自加拿大的雅思老师Mac。今天，我们来看看6月5号的雅思大作文真题。

上题：

Family has a great influence on children’s development, but the influence from outside of home plays a bigger part in children’s life. Do you agree or disagree?

题目分析：

Type: Opinion (disagree)

Body 1: Outside influence play a significant role in shaping who we are

Body 2: Early childhood socialization, specifically the first three to five years of life

Opinion essays can be tackled in 2 ways:

The first method is to simply agree or disagree and write about why you agree or disagree. This means your essay could focus entirely on one side of the argument, but in doing so, you will need to show why your argument is stronger than the other side (meaning you will still refer at some point to the other side).

The other method is to ‘treat’ it like a discussion essay, whereby in body 1 you discuss one of the arguments (the side you disagree with or the side that is less ‘powerful’ in your essay), and in body 2, the argument that you most favor or agree with.

In this essay, I am using the second method.

- Model Answer 高分范文 & 范文朗读 -

-- Essay Analysis 范文解析 --

-- (1) Introduction --

Items to note about this introduction:

1) I understand the statement is an opinion (not a fact), and so my paraphrasing of the opinion is done in order to fit my opinion and my structure of the essay. This means I have paraphrased the statement to suit my opinion, rather than the opinion in the statement. Conversely, I could have started with “There are those who think...; however, I believe...”

2) Consequently, I change the order of the 2 aspects of the opinion, with ‘external’ first and ‘family’ second, since I believe ‘family’ has a greater impact.

3) Normally, we use the phrase “in my opinion”, but here, I use the phrase “it seems clear that”. This phrase clearly demonstrates that my opinion is being given. I will be sure, however, to use the phrase “I believe” or “I think” or “in my opinion” in the conclusion.

4) I am not going to worry about paraphrasing ‘family’, as there simply is no better word to use.

5) I use ‘the family’ instead of just saying ‘family’, as I am turning the noun into a concept.

Paraphrasing from the Statement/Question:

a great influence on = a significant role in

children’s development = a child’s growth

influence from outside of the home = external influences

a bigger part = an even greater effect on

Standard Phrase for the “Opinion” type of essay:

There is no doubt that

; however, it seems clear that

Words showing Cohesion (C&C):

; however,

-- (2) Body 1 --

Aspects that must be referred to:

the influence from outside of home

Standard IELTS essay phrase:

One of the most ... is that

Vocabulary and Collocations:

powerful influences on 重大影响

a memorable experience 难忘的经历

traumatic 不愉快的；痛苦的

entailed 需要；牵涉到

setting 环境

cannot be understated 不容小视；不能低估

life-changing 改变人生的

Words Showing Cohesion [Signposting words, conjunctions, relative pronouns] (C&C)

 , without doubt,

 , for most,

, and for many,

 , as

their

 without

From that point onwards,

these

-- (3) Body 2 --

Aspects that must be referred to:

family influence

Standard IELTS essay phrase:

Despite this..., the most ... is

Vocabulary and Collocations:

formidable 艰巨的；令人生畏的

early childhood experience 幼年经历

mentality 心智；思想状态

socialization 适应社会的过程；社会化

fundamental 根本的；基础的

overarching impact (on) 非常重要的影响

leaves a stamp (mark/imprint) (on) 留下烙印

cannot be overridden 不会被覆盖/超越/重写

supreme power 重大影响

incontrovertible 无可争辩的；不容置疑的

Words Showing Cohesion [Signposting words, conjunctions, relative pronouns] (C&C)

Despite this

the most

their

This

, if not for

, and shows that

, especially

In essence,

That

, hence,

-- (4) Conclusion --

Standard IELTS essay phrase:

In conclusion

I believe

Vocabulary and Collocations:

an extremely powerful influence on 极其重要的影响

there is little doubt that 毫无疑问

indelible 不可磨灭的；无法消除的

Words Showing Cohesion [Signposting words, conjunctions, relative pronouns] (C&C)

though..., (...) there is…

本文到此结束，希望对大家有所帮助呢。